Friday 17 July 2009

catch that pigeon

blokes up ladders, Walcot Street, Bath

Yesterday was Katie's school sports day (she had put her name down for the hop, skip and jump, because you've got to put your name down for something. She gets her enthusiasm for athletics from me). So I had to deliver her to the school sports ground, which is some way from the school.

We went by tandem, and as we cycled along we passed little knots of children in the school's PE kit, heading the same way.

"If I see anyone I know, I want to get off and walk with them," said Katie, who was becoming more mortified by the moment.

She didn't. We arrived and swung into the small car park, where other children were being dropped off in big cars.

"Just go. Now. Pleeeease" said Katie, who was now positively writhing on the back of the tandem.

I ignored her and kept going till we were clear of the car park (dangerous places on school runs, car parks) and looking out over the sports field where teachers and tables and children were arranging themselves about the place.

Katie was making little squeaking noises by now, so I left her to it.

Then over to Bath where I had arranged to meet my little brother Rufus and his family. They've been camping down Salisbury way.

I've not seen them for seven years, since my father's funeral.

They were running late, so I goofed on the promenade overlooking Pulteney weir, watching the tourists...


...and watching the seagulls whirling, looking for food to steal from the tourists or the ducks.


Then a seagull made a dive at a pigeon. The pigeon had a quite striking appearance; white, with black tail and markings.

They swooped to and fro; the seagull could fly faster, and would gain height and then dive at the pigeon, and the pigeon would jink out of the way. This was seriously high class aerobatics, better than the Red Arrows. You could have sold tickets. Finally the pigeon flicked under Pulteney Bridge, and the seagull pulled up at the last moment to avoid the arch, going "Curse you, Red Baron!" in seagull.

I went into the indoor market and bought a quarter of sarsaparilla drops, and had a look round, and went back down to the promenade.

In the middle of the road was the seagull with the pigeon in its beak. The pigeon was frozen; the seagull was bashing it against the road. People stood gawping at the show.


I dashed over to stop the murder. The seagull dropped the pigeon, which took to its wings and was away in a flash. Then the seagull faced up to me. Its beak was messy with feathers, and it looked quite miffed at being interrupted, and had that generally insanely psychotic appearance that seagulls do have, when you look them in the eye.

I, however, had a brolly, and I wasn't afraid to use it.



So it slouched off, muttering darkly of revenge.

And I met Rufus and Pauline, and the girls, and we had cups of tea and bacon butties in the market cafe and had a too-short chat before I had to dash off again for Bristol.


8 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Was promenading on Brighton Pier on Wednesday, with some friends, like you do...when a herring gull swooped down and with mathematical precision took a beak shaped piece out of the '99' (that's the one with chocolate stick thingy...you knew that though) that my friend was eating. Quite scary actually. Hitchcock seems to be alive and well and living in Brighton (or Bath).

    (PS...that was me above btw...in typo hell this morning...)

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  3. Quickly reading this at work and trying not to actualy guffaw with laughter. Poor Katie! I'm glad to see that you are of the opinion it's part of the parental role to embarras children till they squeak. It is.

    No seagull Armageddon to report, fortunately.

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  4. They do appreciate you again - you just have to wait around for 10 years or so.

    Well done for stepping in and rescuing the pigeon.

    We have a turtle dove locally that races around with a sparrow on its tail, sometimes it follows the sparrow. Is this normal behavior?

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  5. I watched a seagull in the city centre swooping down on a woman eating her lunch , Jo; she was oblivious of the drama above her head, and it kept bottling out at the last moment. I guess the ones in more touristy places are getting more assertive.

    What's the seagull thing with you, Liz? -I saw your Facebook thing...

    I watched a hooded crow and some seagulls having mock fights in Ireland once, too, Anji. I think animals have the capacity for fun.

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  6. The look on that seagull's face is classic :-) Seagulls in the city are horrible and very annoyingly noisy. They wake me up in the night all the time and I wish I had a gun to shoot at them. Why don't they eff off to the seaside where they belong and leave the city birds alone ...

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  7. They passs over our part of town, on their way to Whiteladies Road presumably.

    How about a catapult, Annie? John Terry uses one to shoo squirrels off his bird feeder, shooting dried peas at them. I'm thinking of getting one to discourage the pigeons that perch on the side of the house and poo on my bicycle. And you might get a crop of peas as an added bonus.

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